Pass It Forward

Earlier this year, I wrote about "Hands Up and Down," Debbie Khoury commented on my last post, suggesting I was the giver and she was the taker at Miraval. It's easy to see why she might think that.

I was one of the presenters and she was in the audience. But I got at least as much out of meeting Debbie as she did from meeting me. Between the bus ride in and the closing session, she articulated painful feelings that many people with serious illness won't share. By doing so, she gave voice to common experiences that now can be addressed by the others who were at Miraval. 

Debbie said she hopes to give to someone else based on what she learned from me. A passing-it-forward sort of thing. When Debbie shared her story of her oncologist visiting her restaurant and when she told me about her oncologist getting teary when delivering bad news, she brought attention to some topics that I now can explore further in my writing. 

As a Healthy Survivor, everytime you accept guidance and support, you give something to the giver right then and there. And you build up a reservoir of insights and comfort that you can then dip into - over and over and over - whenever you meet someone else in need.

Comments

[Jeanne M Hannah]

Wendy,

Wow! You brought tears to my eyes! You reminded me of the wonderful experience my sister Jill and I were able to share when we participated in the Avon Breast Cancer Walk in Chicago.

It wasn't the walking . . . it was the sharing. It was the young man who came to talk to the HUGE group of cancer survivors and their supporters who talked about his mother and how much the Avon Foundation had helped her. It was the stories in the hot tub the night before the event began, exchanged along the way with others, and while blisters were attended to.

It was the Chicago Police surrounding the Hilton. (Imagine we thought they were there for us, and wondered if they thought we were going to be a rowdy group. Turns out they were there to help the Secret Service guard Dick Cheney). One of them let Jill sit on his motorcycle and she was thrilled. As for me, I can truthfully say that the only thing I've never done of all the things my mother told me NOT to do is to ride a motorcycle.

I have watched Jill bloom as a survivor and I have watched her pass it on. Passing it on is one of the most important parts of her healthy survivorship.

Jeanne

[Doug]

Nice post. I always feel awkard when people tell me that I am so upbeat and have somehow inspired them. I'm just being ... me. But if my bad experiences can help someone else down the road, well, I'm all for that. Pay it forward.

[Finn]

A close friend was diagnosed with cancer nearly a year after I was, and I was still in treatment. She told me I was her role model for how to deal with it, and I cringed. I actually said "Good god, I shouldn't be anyone's role model for anything!" I felt just like you, Doug; I was just being me. But if it helped her get through her own treatment, I'm glad I went first.