"Everyone has Cancer, Mom"

When my oldest child was around 10 years old, she whined something about "it seems like everyone has cancer."

I explained that she felt that way because I got lots of calls from other people with cancer. And because people tended to tell me their cancer stories (in front of the kids, oftentimes). Then I asked my daughter if she ever heard of MS. She shook her head.

I told her, "Sweetheart, if I had MS - multiple sclerosis, a different disease - you wouldn't be hearing about cancer. But you would probably be complaining to me that it seems like everybody has MS." She smiled.

Then I painted a non-medical scenario: "How many times do you notice green minivans?" She laughed, anticipating the ending, "If we had a red sports car..."

Yes, there is a lot of disease out there. Too much!  So as a Healthy Survivor, if you feel like everyone around you has the same illness as you, take a moment to ask if this perception might be related to the connections you are making (that you might not make otherwise) and to people's tendency to share their same-problem story.

Comments

[Kairol Rosenthal]

Because of my work, I too am a magnet for cancer stories. However, in addition to the green car, red car explanation, I do think that your daughter is on to something. Maybe her friends are noticing the same thing as well. Cancer has become so prevalent that everyone I know seems to remark that "it is everywhere."

What is interesting to me is that there is a higher mortality rate for heart disease, yet let's try to name the people we know with that ailment. Cancer treatments are barbaric, make us look different, and impact our social lives profoundly. Cancer stories have become commonplace, as has promotion of cancer products. It is more and more socially acceptable to talk about. I think these factors may also contribute to the feeling that everyone has lately of "Seems so many people have cancer."

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Dear Kairol,

You are right: Cancer is common. According to the 2008 SEER website, 1 in 2 men and women will be diagnosed with cancer of all sites during their lifetime.

And your point is well taken about treatment making a diagnosis impossible to hide for many people, thus contributing to its "out there" profile.

Cancer is also a highly charged diagnosis, retaining its status as "the dread disease" even though many other diagnoses today pose a greater risk to life and limb than many types of cancer.

As you point out, cancer has become not only socially acceptable to talk about it but also a diagnosis that elicits uniform sympathy. So cancer is a "safe" disease for companies to latch onto if trying to appear philanthropic and build good will.

I think a good question to ponder is how can Healthy Survivors deal with the flood of cancer-reminders in their midst?

With hope, Wendy

[Kate]

Dear Wendy;

A blog I read regularly is www.justenjoyhim.wordpress.com written by Judy who is a breast cancer survivor with a young child. I commented on her blog site about your blog and am letting you know about her too.

Best to you!

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Thanks for the tip. Will check it out now. With hope, Wendy