Yesterday my phone rang. My internist's telephone number was on caller-ID. After she said hello, her tone turned serious. I was totally unprepared for what she had to say.
She wanted me to hear the news from her: She's closing her solo practice.
I knew it was coming someday. But I was hoping it wouldn't be for another 5-10 years. After I hung up, my shock gave way to grief.
I'm just getting used to the bittersweet news now. The "bitter" part of leaving a trusted physician is obvious. In my case, the sadness is compounded by memories of closing my own practice in 1992 -- and the patients' notes and cards that followed.
The sweet part may need some explaining:
- Facing this transition means I've outlived my physician's practice.
- I'm in the best condition since my diagnosis in 1990, a good time to switch, if I must.
- I have benefitted from her superb care when I needed care the most.
I'll always feel grateful for
- her patience through the early years, as I learned how to be an effective patient.
- her thoroughness and persistence, when my problems were complicated and chronic.
- how she preserved my dignity when I was at my lowest and most vulnerable.
- how she celebrated my good times.
I will try to honor her and her practice by continuing to be a Healthy Survivor, getting good care and living as fully as possible.
Wendy, I am sorry for your loss, and with you in your grief. And I'm encouraged that you're focusing on the gifts, the positives, the gratitude. I tend to do the same - finding the good, ultimately. It can take some time though, for me in any event.
Always hope,
Lori
Posted by: lori hope | March 21, 2009 at 09:19 AM
Wendy,
I had the same news this month from my internist. There is insecurity about who will take care of me now and who will ever get to know me as well as he did. I'm glad I read your blog...I can see the opportunity for a new beginning. BTW...miss you at the gym.
Shelley
Posted by: Shelley Rosen | March 26, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Oh dear, Shelley. My sincere sympathies about your internist.
As for the gym, I've been in Asheville, NC (for keynote). I did work out at the DoubleTree Inn exercise room.
I'll be back at 24 hour tomorrow.
See you soon, Wendy
Posted by: Wendy | March 26, 2009 at 08:48 PM