Giving Thanks

Kairol Rosenthal recently blogged about thanking people who provide help. For Healthy Survivors, what is the "right" way?

A busy "MD" (Mommy/Doctor), I was a "giver" to the core. Forced to become a "taker" while going through chemotherapy, this is what I learned about thanks:

• Being vulnerable and needy opens opportunities to show my love for my friends and family by asking for and accepting needed help. More than saying "thanks," doing what I needed to do to get well (including accepting their help) was the best way I could thank them for their caring.
• I don't owe anything to people who choose to help, but I can enlarge their gift by expressing thanks. A card or note gives them the pleasurable feeling of knowing they made a difference and are appreciated. 
• My expressing ongoing gratitude in annual holiday greetings or birthday cards helps those who helped years ago see themselves today as the good people they are. Such messages keep the fires of my gratitude glowing, which helps me fully appreciate today.
• When my time comes to die, I can still demonstrate true love by accepting help that can't possibly be reciprocated.

I recently bumped into a colleague whom I hadn't seen for years and said, "I'll never forget your bringing my family a meal in 1990. He responded by blushing, shaking his head and approximating his thumb and index finger in front of his face.

I answered, "It wasn't little to me."

Comments

[Michael]

Giving thanks to those who have provided me support has been like completing a circle. Family, friends and healthcare providers all included. This reminded me to get a card out to my nurse for the work she recently performed. Thanks to you for the writing you do and provide through your books and website.

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Michael,
It is a humbling honor to write for others. And I like your image of thankfulness completing a circle.
With hope, Wendy