Signature Salutation

When you compose a letter, how do you sign off?  "Sincerely"?  "Yours truly"? "XXX000"?  "In faith"? "Warm regards?" What if you are just dashing off a quick note?

The answer surely depends on the content of the message as well as your intended receiver. Yet each of you has your own repetoire of sign-offs.

As I see it, my closing phrase is the written equivalent of a handshake, smile, wink, hug or kiss. That is why "with hope" has become my trademark sign-off. Every time I get ready to sign my name, my fingers stop moving momentarily. With both hands hovering over my keyboard or my right hand poised with a pen, I pay attention to what I'm feeling. Only then do I sign off with a salutation followed by my name.

It wasn't always so. In the early 1990s -- the days before CaringBridge and patient blogs, I'd send a "Dear Friends and Family" letter every few months to update everyone without having to repeat my story over and over.  

At first I signed off "From the person who doesn't like phone calls (insert smiley face, here)." My intention was to communicate my need to limit phone calls in a self-depracating way. (That some people were a bit offended is a topic for another blog post)

As my prognosis worsened with my first recurrence, I began signing off "with hope, Wendy." This provided me a compact way to end the one-way communications with a sense of optimism and hope. I needed to leave my readers with my sense that improvement was possible and that I had hope for such improvement. I suppose I was suggesting they have hope for me, too.

When I was in remission, I continued to sign off "With hope" to shout that I was hopeful for continued improvement.

As a Healthy Survivor, my hopes were focused on more than just the status of my lymphoma, So I began using "with hope" for just about all my communciations, completing the phrase mentally with the object of my hope.

When I respond to a patient's (or family member's) request for information or advice, I conclude "with hope" that what I've said is useful or comforting.

When I share news about my current writing project, I sign off "with hope" that the words will be published one day and help others. 

When I send condolences, I sign off "with hope" they feel my caring and find the strength to grieve. 

When I send holiday or birthday greetings, I sign off "with hope" the celebrations will be joyous.

Hope is the centerpiece of Healthy Survivorship. Whatever I say and however I may sign off a particular correspondence, you can rest assured that I say and do everything with hope.

Comments

[Debby Bruck]

Wendy,
I've always noticed your 'with hope' at the end of every note, message and greeting. It shows great awareness of [sub]consciousness thinking. We are using our salutation as meditation, awareness, bringing our intentions into our life.

I notice that I sign LOVE to everyone even if I have just met someone new. I feel so much gratitude to everyone I meet and feel this spark of connection that there is love in living and this brings humanity together as one living soul, when we just love.

sending love,
Debby

http://homeopathyworldcommunity.com

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Dear Debby,
How wonderful. So much meaning in so few words.
Thank you for sharing this.
With hope (really!), Wendy

[kate]

I can't think of a better way to "sign off" on anything than "with hope". Hope is a positive word; energetic, yet peaceful; encouraging and comforting. Great choice!

[Jeanne M Hannah]

Wendy, I have always had a dilemma about how to "sign off" in a personal way, one that touches the individual reader as is always intended.

"With hope," your perfect "trademark sign-off" from the incredible woman [TA-DA!!!] who brought us the beautiful and hopeful phrase "healthy survivorship" is perfect in the right time and place.

My contacts are varied: (1) family or friends with cancer that if not curable can be survived in a healthy way - folks for whom hope is not just an option but a necessity. There "with hope" would work. (2) Then there are those family members & friends with terminal & incurable illness. There "sending love" [THANK YOU Debby!] seems so perfect! I wonder why I never thought of it -- because sometimes writing "with love" or "Love Jeanne" seems not quite right - esp. if, in the case of friends & acquaintenances, the relationship is not very, very close.

Sending love . . . radiating sunlight . . . Jeanne on a sunny day in the northern tundra.

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Dear Jeanne,

One of my very dearest friends usually signs off with "loving you," making it a verb -- an active process.

The notion that we can vary and personalize our sign-offs adds richness to our communications, and thus to our relationships.

With hope, Wendy

[Kairol Rosenthal]

I have always noticed that you write "With Hope" and I love it.

I spend a lot of my time communicating with young cancer patients and I often write "All my best". It sounds so cliche, but is what I am truly feeling.

Great topic.

All my best,
Kairol

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Thanks, Kairol. I've always noticed how other people sign off to me, e.g, "cheers" or "all my best." These words have affected how I've felt about the person and their message.

Wouldn't it be cool if just by talking about "signature salutations," people would become more open to hopefulness?

As always, with hope, Wendy

[Luke]

Wishes

Always

Luke

[lori hope]

Great topic, Wendy. When I read this, I became curious and looked back at all my CarePages salutations. I started signing off "Always hope" on April 12, 2007 (or earlier - didn't check all the way back, but did see a "Thanks and all hope" from Jan. 12, '07).

To me, it's not just a double entendre because of my name, but an encouraging wish, a sincere intention.

Like Debby, I often sign "love" even to strangers, because I write with love, just as I cook with love. But I can imagine that some people might take offense at that. Even so, it feels good to open my heart.

My love to you, Wendy, and always hope,
Lori

[Wendy S. Harpham, M.D.]

Dear Lori,

Thanks for sharing this. You have me thinking now about the salutations that include the word "love." Ideally love begets love, and expressing love would stir only positive feelings. As you say, though, if used casually some might find it cheapens the word.

As you explain in your book, Help Me Live, the same phrase can mean different things to different people. Human relationships, especially between casual friends or acquaintances, require great sensitivity. With close friends and family, the players usually know what works and what doesn't.

Thank you for your comment AND salutation.

With hope, Wendy