The Doctor is Within

The 14th Dalai Lama offers many valuable lessons to Healthy Survivors. For example, according to a recent NYTimes article, when the Dalai Lama came into exile his first words were, "Now we are free." And his first instinct was to look for that which he could now do better.

Healthy Survivorship is not about what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you. The paradox of enjoying good health and wealth is that the freedoms they buy may blind you to opportunities for personal growth and meaning. In other words, having what you want may keep you from looking for -- and finding -- what you need.

In my case, cancer and its treatments have caused aftereffects that make it impossible to do clinical medicine. Years ago, while grieving the terrible loss of my practice, I hoped to find new ways to continue my life mission: helping others through the synergy of science and caring.

Even while still hoping to get well and return to clinical medicine, I embraced the new opportunities to read, think, talk, write and speak about how modern patients can get good care and live as fully as possible. I saw opportunities to advocate for patients to clinicians, as well as to advocate for clinicians (and science-based medicine) to patients.

Healthy Survivors recognize and grieve their losses. And while they are grieving, they make the effort to look for opportunities to do those things that can be done even better than before because of what they've lost.  

Comments

[Kairol Rosenthal]

Hi Wendy,

Sometimes I think that AFTER grieving is a better time to find new golden opportunities. I all too often meet cancer patients who look so soon for a silver lining as a way to not have to feel the loss of cancer. For me personally, I have found great strength in allowing myself to feel vulnerable, rather than invincible.

Kairol
blog http://everythingchangesbook.com/

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Dear Kairol,

I agree with you. Many Healthy Survivors need to grieve before they begin to take the first baby steps of their search for new meaning.

The Dalai Lama reportedly began that search the moment he was expelled. Not me: At first, I only HOPED to find new meaning in the beginning. I didn't actively look. (I saw my early writing simply as a way to tide me over until I could get back to my old life, the old way I cared for patients.)

It was only after grieving the loss of my practice and experiencing a second failed attempt at clinical medicine (i.e. going back to work and then having to stop due to illness) that I began the active work of recreating myself as a writer and speaker.

Grieving can be a long and uneven process. For many, it does not have a clear beginning, middle and end.

For some Healthy Survivors, waiting to finish grieving may delay their emotional recovery. For them, the act of searching for new meaning and happiness may be what is needed to prevent or lift them from despair.

Healthy Survivors nourish hope of a better tomorrow even before they can imagine how that could possibly be. They find hope before they take their first steps to look for opportunities to do something better.

Paradoxically, some Healthy Survivors take steps toward a better tomorrow before they find the hope - the belief - that it will help. Taking action helps them find and nourish hope.

As with everything in life (I sound like a broken record, I know), each person forges and follows his or her unique path to Healthy Survivorship.

Kairol, please let me know if I'm making sense.

With hope, Wendy

[Kairol Rosenthal]

Indeed you are!

Kairol