They Didn't Lose

Over and over, I read and hear stories about various celebrities who "lost their battle" with cancer. Most times I let it go when I hear this phrase. Okay, yeah, I drop it only after ranting for a few moments aloud or in my head. 

Today I feel the need to devote a blog post to the topic. You see, I recently watched "Farrah's Story" a few times, in preparation for writing a column in Oncology Times about her cancerbiography (which I'll be happy to share once it's published online). 

To say Farrah lost her battle dishonors her life and sends a worrisome message to Healthy Survivors.  An article entitled "Misguided Metaphor" explains why I feel this way. See what you think.

Comments

[Finn]

That "lost the battle" metaphor ticks me off, too. Why is it that only people with cancer "lose the battle" when we die? This phrasing is never applied to people who die of heart disease, no matter how long they had it or were treated for it. No one said my aunt "lost her battle with hypertension" when she died of a stroke. People with diabetes are never said to be "battling" their disease but "living" with it.

Those of us who have or had cancer are also living with it, not digging trenches and launching mortar attacks on malignant cells. If it kills us, we haven't lost; we've merely died, just like everyone else does.

[Joni Rodgers]

Thanks for this, Wendy. That "lost the battle" has always been a rant trigger for me.

[lori hope]

Wendy, I love "Misguided Metaphor", and the end was great - laughter is indeed sometimes the best medicine!

I feel the same way you do, and wrote a commentary for public radio about a similar subject. A television journalist, who allowed her journey to be documented and broadcast, was said to have "succumbed" to cancer by other print and broadcast media.

Her name was Faith, and she was all about that. She never gave up; never succumbed. A survivor right to the very end, she was strong and centered and more vital than almost anyone I've ever known.

I remember reading once that Lance Armstrong changed oncologists because his first one kept making war analogies, and he preferred seeing his experience as a healing journey.

Language and metaphors are so important, and as you know I devote most of my time to advocating for compassionate communication with people impacted by cancer.

Thank you for this post and for linking to your column. I'm glad I took the time to read it, and I look forward to the column about Ms. Fawcett.

Best,
Lori
http://www.LoriHope.com

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Lori,
If I forget to post the link to my article on Farrah's Story on my blog in six or so weeks, don't hesitate to remind me. With hope, Wendy