Silence

A first year medical student, Felicity, commented on my Time for Talk post: "The hard thing as we learn to interview patients...is to be comfortable with silence. It feels kind of awkward..."

Silence. The space between the words. A breeding ground for misunderstanding.

When patients sit in silence after being asked a question, clinicians may be asking themselves, "Does this patient need more time to remember? Does he want to keep to himself what he is thinking now? Does she not understand the question? Did she even hear the question, or is her mind in a faraway place?"

When I was in practice, a simple phrase -- "Take your time...," -- oftened worked wonders by acknowledging and accepting the silence as okay. 

To ease your discomfort, you can say to your doctor,

• "I just need a few seconds to gather my thoughts."
• "Can we come back to that question later?"
• "Can you rephrase the question?"
• "I have nothing more to add, now." 

What if you asked a question, and it is your doctor who is the silent one?

Don't jump to conclusions about why your doctor is so quiet. A dozen different reasons could explain the lull, many of which have nothing to do with you or your situation.

If the silence lasts too long for your comfort, try reconnecting with a tactful, "Should we come back to that later?"

Silence. A moment to gather one's thoughts and find the right words.