The Joy of "Nothing"

One of the many joys of the holiday season is reading the update letters that accompany so many greeting cards. And one of the great pleasures of my letter-reading joy is a glaring-yet-appropriate omission.

Like most everyone, I receive updates from scattered friends from my youth, my school years, my medical practice era, and my years rearing my children. I also hear from co-survivors whom I've met since 1990, after diving into the world of evaluations, cancer treatments and follow-ups. Some are people with whom at some time in my journey I shared the intimacy that can evolve in the setting of serious illness.

I just read a holiday letter from a physician who is now a long-term survivor working full-time. I remember when she went through aggressive treatment that included a bone marrow transplant years and years ago. 

If you didn't know it and read the letter, you wouldn't guess it. No mention is made of cancer, remission, recovery, cure, aftereffects or even survivor-related gratitude. Rather, the letter is brimming with travels and medical research and faith ministry and launching children off to college. A closing acknowledgement of "much to be thankful for" rings the perfect note for this family.

It reminds me of what I used to tell some of my patients, "I want to get you as well as possible, so you are busy living your life and not thinking about me or this office."

Sometimes the path to Healthy Survivorship involves letting go of your survivor status and focusing completely on the life you are living.

Comments

[Felicity Lenes]

How poignant a point this is!

[Debby]

Maybe The Joy of "No Old News" or The Joy of "Moving On" or the Joy of "The Now". Maybe, I just got the title. . . The Joy of "Hearing & Reading & Saying Nothing" about the Past.

What we expect will be there, that isn't there speaks for itself.

love
Debby

[Wendy S. Harpham, M.D.]

Dear Debby,

Exactly! This post is an ode to the joy of past illness and current aftereffects moving to the far periphery -- or even offstage completely -- from the drama of one's life.

My posts assume the writer is being truthful about the family's news for the year. Any details related to the past illness just wasn't significant enough to include in a letter filled with more noteworthy news.

Since I know what it is like to go through aggressive treatment and then recovery, the absence of any mention of survivorship stands out in a most wonderful way.

With hope, Wendy