Too Upsetting

Healthy Survivors use language that helps them get good care and live as fully as possible. In the case of challenges, it is usually better to say "very" instead of "too." For example, "This newspaper article is too very upsetting."

What if a topic really is "too" upsetting? What's a Healthy Survivor to do? 

The past two posts have been in response to an article in the NYTimes about the risk of receiving the wrong amount of radiation when being treated for cancer. If I were in treatment now and found the topic too upsetting, I could choose not to read, talk or think about it.

I would first ensure that I was being treated in a reputable cancer center. Then I would re-commit to reporting any problems I develop to my physicians (which as a Healthy Survivor I would do anyway). Then I would close my eyes and stick my fingers in my ears (and say "La La La" loudly, if necessary) whenever anyone started talking about that article.

This is one of those situations where my reading, talking, thinking or watching anything about the subject would make no difference to anyone other than me. My personal role in the problem of radiation errors in American hospitals is no greater than my role in the pattern of sunspots.

In situations such as this, as a Healthy Survivor you can determine whether thinking or talking about a topic is helpful or harmful, and then move forward accordingly. Putting today's example in terms of the knowledge-hope-action approach to Healthy Survivorship:

Knowledge: This topic is upsetting me, and I have no role in how the problem of radiation errors plays out across the nation.

Hope: I can feel less anxious if I avoid the topic right now.

Action: I will turn the page without reading the story in the newspaper, change the channel should the story be teased, and ask someone to change the topic if they bring it up (or I can walk away).

Under these circumstances, this approach is not a sign of weakness, but strength. I am regaining control by doing what I need to do at this time to get good care and/or live as fully as possible.

Comments

[Richard Frank]

Dear Wendy,

This is great advice that I will share with our radiation therapy staff and all patients at our center undergoing cancer therapy. It is especially needed by those presently undergoing radiation therapy or who have recently completed treatment. These are timely and incredibly needed words of wisdom. Thanks!

Rich

Richard Frank, MD
Medical Oncologist
Norwalk, CT

[Lisa Escaloni]

Thank you for your perspective. I face radiation in a few months and my physical therapist's negative perspective is from seeing people who need her services after radiation, not from people who have had no physical problems from the treatment. I haven't talked to the radiation oncologist yet but he will have to address my questions and concerns before I consent to being zapped.