A memorial is something that serves as a focus for remembering a past event or person who died. Monuments such as the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. and online legacies such as those found on www.legacy.com are examples.
Can a frame of mind be a memorial?
After the loss of a love, a most difficult task is embracing life. Often the first step is making a commitment to figure out how to embrace life such that memories of your love bring more joy than sorrow. Such a commitment requires acts of faith if right now joy feels lost forever.
Through trial and error, you might find activities that help, such as:
- Creating a spot where you can feel close to your lost love using items such as pictures, favorite books, a piece of clothing, a special CD or a memento.
- Keeping a running list of the memories you want to hold onto forever.
- Talking with people who knew your love and want to help you remember.
- Doing something that your love would have encouraged you to do.
Similarly you may find self-talk phrases that work in the privacy of your mind, such as:
- "My love would want me to feel happy again."
- "Nobody and nothing can take away what we had."
- "My enjoying life -- even falling in love again -- serves as a testament to the joyful relationship I once had."
Concentrate on the many ways your loved one made the world happier, more just, more comfortable or safer for you or anyone else. What better way to both embrace life and remember your love than by adopting an outlook that includes all that was good?
I recently lost a friend who was generous with his time and money. For the rest of my life, every time my memory of my friend encourages me act with similar generosity I help solidify his legacy. "This one's for you, my friend!"