Baby, Do You Remember?

When my three children were young, every night I put them to bed one at a time. We'd talk for a few minutes before beginning our ritual interactive songs, tucking-in, kisses, "Nighty night" and lights out.

One evening as I began the routine with my youngest, he said something that practically stopped my heart: "Mom, do you remember when...."

It doesn't matter what it was that he was asking me about. All I could think was, "He remembers! He's old enough to remember!"

My son was 22 months old when I was first diagnosed with cancer, 3 1/2 when I had my first recurrence and 4 1/2 when I traveled to Stanford to participate in a Phase I clinical trial. Until that evening, when he was five or so, one of my fears was dying before he was old enough to remember me.

I hadn't thought about that for a long time, until I read an article in the Dallas Morning News about a local mom with incurable cancer.

Jamie Thompson's article entitled "Mother Tried to Pack Lifetime into 2 Years" is not for the faint of heart. But I hope you'll find a small space in your busy week to read -- and to feel -- the story of Leah Siegel and her young family.

Her story will help set the stage for my next post, an introduction to someone who understands the value of creating memories.

Comments

[Debby]

Dear Wendy,
Too many have to suffer and deal with this pain and loss today. What is happening to our world?

Count our blessings.

love
Debby

[Jonnie Hickman]

Dr Wendy,

I too struggle with leaving my child behind and never seeing my grandchildren (Embry is due in November, my first grandchild.) My son is angry with me right now because I told him with a baby on the way, he needed to get a job.

I fear if something happens to me while he is angry, the rest of his life he will mourn. He will regret his anger. I want happiness for the rest of his life.

One of the things I have been doing is writing daily letters to him, reminding him that I know he loves me and he has the right to be angry if he wants to be. I also have been writing a daily letter for my grandchild.

I want more than anything to see her dancing with the other children on Sunday mornings at my church, I want to teach her the song, "This little light of mine" and "Jesus loves me." Maybe I will record myself singing to her.

Thanks again for the site.

jonnie

[Linda]

I had not seen the story of Leah Siegal in the paper. What a touching story. Thanks for sharing.