Explaining a Doctor's Impatience

My June 20th post shares the dilemma of a patient whose long-time doctor disagreed with her assessment of the best treatment for her and cut their conversation short. Why might her doctor have done this?

I wasn't there. I don't know her doctor. So I can't even guess.

Yet I think it's worth entertaining possible reasons an oncologist might be uncharacteristically impatient. Maybe the doctor had...

• Been dealing with patients' crises non-stop since the prior morning.
• Just "pronounced" one of his patients and rushed back to the office, but not before hugging each member of the bereft family.
• Just spent 20 minutes on the phone arguing with an insurance agent about approving needed treatment for one of his other patients.
• Just learned that his mother had a stroke.
• Just spent 20 minutes trying to calm an irate and irrational family member who showed up unannounced at the office (and had never been involved before).
• Had to tell the patient before you that they have run out of treatment options.
• Hasn't eaten in eight hours and has a splitting headache.

Yes, I know: A doctor is a professional. He or she has an obligation to put everything else out of mind and treat you with expertise and compassion.

I agree. The list above offers possible explanations, not excuses. But, hey, nobody's perfect. We all slip up on occasion.

Healthy Survivors expect professionalism from the members of their healthcare team. But they adjust if things don't go perfectly all the time.

Comments

[Carol Ann Rice Rafferty]

Sometimes I suspect the doctors own fears of my cancer in the way they deal with me.

A male doctor who was advising another lumpectomy and radiation for DCIS told my husband that my reconstructed breasts will not feel the same as real breasts.

A female doctor told me it is not wise to remove healthy tissue when I chose the bilateral mastectomy for DCIS stage 0. Later, when she sees how well I am adapting she said I made the correct choice.

Another time I was challenged when I declined Tamoxifen in favor of ground Flax Seed as adjunct therapy after surgery with clear nodes due to family history of stroke.

Illness and death is not an easy topic for any of us.

Patients need to take responsibility for their own informed decision.

We can't blame the doctors.

[Deb Konrad]

It is certainly important to remember that doctors are people too, they have good and bad days, lives beyond their practices. I always try to give them ( or anyone) the benefit of doubt, but if it happens continuosly, then I would look for someone else for my care.

[Jan Hasak]

I would add to your list that the oncologist just found out that Medicare would only cover 80% of the chemo bills so he/she would have to cough up the rest from the office coffers. That happened to my oncologist, and he had to move out of state to make his business profitable.

We are all only human no matter what we do. I like to take your approach with anyone who treats me in a manner that I believe to be rude or inappropriate. Maybe a catastrophe just happened or there's an ongoing crisis. This kind of thinking helps change my attitude, if not theirs.

Jan

[Ronni Gordon]

I liked your list of possible reasons why a doctor might seem curt. And of course there could be many more reasons. It's hard to not take it personally, and it's good to remember that it's not about you even though it feels that way.

[Jonnie Hickman]

I have what my nurse friends have termed a "doctor-psychosis" and have been known to fire a few. As a nurse, I have seen the human side at times, too closely. Can't wait to catch on the feeds here, but with this post too, as a patient, survivor, we need to look at ourselves too. What external issues are causing us to perceive the world and doctors to be "out to get" us. I have even had moments of thinking that GOD has it in for me.

Also, gauge what the doctor is looking for. Are they checking to see if you may need an anti-anxiety or anti-depressant alongside treatment. I guess I am trying to say there may be other motives,

And yes, take a look at their human side that we doctor psychotics often look past. We all have relationship issues, trouble with death, fights with neighbors and the need for alone (vacation) time.

Jonnie Hickman

[Physician Assistant]

I had to bookmark this site, its awesome!