Healing after a Doctor Visit Gone Awry - Part II

There is no one right way to obtain knowledge, nourish hope or take action. So, too, there is no one right way to heal a rift between you and your physician.

But there are good ways -- and maybe even a best way -- for you and your physician. What follows are my suggestions to the patient who, at her last doctor visit, raised her voice in frustration:

I suggested she prepare for her next doctor visit, so she could express her thoughts and feelings as calmly and succinctly as possible.

• Acknowledge your problem:  “I regret how I acted at my last visit."
• Explain why it happened: "It’s been a difficult time. I felt I wasn't getting a chance to explain why I prefered Plan A."
• Apologize: "That's my explanation, but I have no excuse for raising my voice. I'm sorry." 
• Reconnect in a healing way: "I appreciate all you’ve done to get me to this point.”
• Restate your need: "It will help me make a good decision if I understand in my head why you've decided this is not the best next step."
• Request information: "Can you refer me to written materials, a website or another person who can
  help me understand your advice?”

In my next post, I'll explore possible explanations for her physician's impatience at the visit gone awry.

Comments

[Donna Muller]

These steps, your wording, is fantastic! It would just as well apply to any other relationship besides physician. If only folks could overcome/work out arguments with your verbal poise. Emphasizing the positive aspects of the relationship over the negative, and open communication is great advice for a marriage too. Thank you for this post.

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Dear Donna,
Thanks for letting me know it is helpful. With hope, Wendy

[Jan Hasak]

I agree with Donna. These suggestions could well apply to any relationship. Improving communication is key to social survival. I'll remember these for future reference.
Jan