If It's Not a "Battle," then what is it?

In an Oncology Times article, I share my distaste for battle imagery in discussions of cancer survivorship. I'm not battling or fighting cancer. So then, what do I call it?

When I'm in treatment, I usually say I'm living with cancer. Or, dealing with cancer.

Another phrase showing up with increasing frequency is "a journey" with cancer.

Two definitions offered on Dictionary.com are "a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time" and "passage or progress from one stage to another."

A "journey with cancer" can have two slightly different meanings. If "journey" is short for "life journey," then we are talking about cancer as one part of a personal path rich with relationships and challenges. Alternatively we're talking about a journey from diagnosis on, focusing on survivorship, with its ups, downs and opportunities for growth.

Both work for me.

Comments

[Finn]

That "battle" terminology really grates on my nerves, especially when anyone with cancer who dies is referred to as having "lost" his or her "battle with cancer." If they lost, who won? Certainly not the cancer they were "battling," because that dies with them. And whether it's a sudden heart attack or a series of them after decades of treatment, no one is ever said to have "lost" his or her "battle with heart disease." I wish people would just stop mindlessly repeating this hackneyed, senseless phrase.

[Dianne Duffy]

Personally, I'm a victim of cancer. cancer is a crime.

[Jonnie Hickman]

I have a ton of poems about the cancer war. I have referred to my cancer as my little monster. The treatment I have related to fishing. My emotions to a roller coaster ride. I use these terms so that a person who hasn't lived with cancer can relate to the inner turmoil and feelings of being at war with everyone and everything. Also when my good friends ask how I am, I sometimes reply, "I'm working on the over-throw of democracy." My friends know this to mean...I am depressed or sick but I am working my way back to physical and mental wellness. Symantec's matter not to me but I can see how the word war could impede a healthy description of a survivor's time while living with cancer.

I personally don't mind being a foot soldier who is fighting cancer. I don't like when some people think I am strong, courageous and a hero because I was diagnosed with cancer. I want them to call me these things because I have fought for my causes, tried to get a cancer drop-in center started, continue patient advocacy and so on.

I had a negative perspective about an adult cancer camp saying things like, I don't want to spend 3 days talking about cancer, crying over spilled milk or doing crafts and playing BINGO with people who are sick. I finally figured out that I am one of those sick people and camp is not at all depressing, it's about living. (We do play BINGO though.)

Jonnie

[Kirk]

Kudos for continuing to sensitize people on the subject. The battle metaphor is no longer part of the words used here. The journey metaphor feels much more apt from the perspective of watching a person deal with the impacts of two occurrences of NHL over twelve years.

Kirk

[Claudia]

Cancer is not a "war" - You are not a "victim"

Change your perspective about your experience with cancer. Change your vocabulary from “war”, “battle”, “fight”, “struggle”, “victim”, “the big c”, “survivor”, “warrior”, “sick”, and “I have cancer” to wording like “condition”, “experience”, “I’ve been diagnosed with cancer”, “I had cancer”, “I went through the cancer journey, or experience.” The idea is state the fact without claiming having a disease (dis-ease). It’s just a matter of changing your perception and semantics. I believe they both play into our health and happiness.

You’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel. I trust you’ll know it’s not a train.

-The above is an excerpt from my July 7, 2011 blog entry at www.cancerwhattodoorsay.wordpress.com

Claudia

[Jonnie Hickman]

I think I will probably always be searching for the right words to describe my cancer experience in a way that a healthy person can make sense of it. I think my healthy friends will always be looking for the right words to console me. What is important to me is that when a person is first diagnosed and is confused, over-whelmed, in shock, fearful, and asking why me they don't have the same reaction that I did to it. I know that you can't take that all away, but if a friend is diagnosed I want them to look at my experience and hold on to something that will help them not want to give up before they ever even enter the door to the chemotherapy room. Yes, the word "war" is negative, but "wars can be won." And being courageous in "battle" is honorable. You say tomato, I say tomato - cancer is the bad word.

[Deb Konrad]

I agree with Jonnie, whatever works for you, go with it. Frankly, I find the term "new normal" to be a burden, nothing feels 'normal" now. You just have to take it one day at a time....

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Dear Deb Konrad,
A premise of Healthy Survivorship is that each individual adopts and develops the language that works well for him or her.

For me, "normal" in this context has connotations of regular, usual, natural. For years I dealt with big and little crises and discomforts (pain) that made "normal" an elusive goal.

For me, the notion of developing a "new normal" that integrated the changes and losses that accompanied my illness enabled me to regain that comforting sense of normalcy that would otherwise have been impossible. For me, the notion of a "new normal" helped me get good care and live as fully as possible.

Since the phrase doesn't work for you, I hope you can find other language that does. I'd also appreciate your sharing, if you don't mind, because it could help me understand you and others who don't find comfort in the notion of a new normal.

With hope, Wendy

[Finn]

There's an interesting op ed in today's NY Times that relates to this subject. In a piece entitled "The Annals of Extreme Surgery," Dr. Barron H. Lerner discusses the history of very aggressive cancer treatments, and asks “Why such enthusiasm for aggressive surgery? The explanation can be gleaned from the language surgeons used to justify their operations. Military metaphors were ubiquitous.”

It's an interesting read.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/30/opinion/the-annals-of-extreme-surgery.html?_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss

[Mike Abrams]

I see cancer as a non-hereditary random error in genetic code that happens for whatever combination of reasons. It most definitely is not a character flaw, and it does not deserve our fear, tempted as we may be. All that being said, I welcome treatment day as a chance to "take a few shots" at the beast (but I don't take the beast personally).