Think Twice Before Praising Weight Loss

Until recently, if I saw someone who had lost excess weight, without hesitation I'd say something positive like, "Wow, you look terrific!"

Then I read "Why You Should Think Twice Before You Praise Someone For Losing Weight."

For me, it was not primarily about aesthetics. When an overweight friend lost weight, I'd say, "You know I've always seen the 'you' that is inside. But I'm happy about your decreased health risks (e.g., diabetes, hypertension, certain types of cancer, and so on)."

Especially if you don't know why or how someone lost weight, praise can be harmful. Suppose weight loss is an unintended consequence of adversity, such as illness or grief. "The smiles and effusive praise...[are] in direct opposition to the pain that caused the weight loss to begin with."

If an eating disorder and/or an unhealthy body image is at play, "Complimenting someone...only adds fuel to the fire."

Repeated praise after weight loss can instill a sense they were not worthy, mature or acceptable before. "We have to evaluate whether we're making statements to someone that they've never heard from us before, statements that suggest the weight loss suddenly makes them a better, more legitimate person."

Is blogger Yasher Ali suggesting we stop all praise? No.

"We should evaluate what and how we are praising someone's weight loss before we actually say anything.... Weight loss is not one-size-fits-all and our reactions shouldn't be, either."

To read complete article, click here.

Comments

[Finn]

I recently saw a friend I hadn't seen in a year and noticed that she'd lost weight. I also knew that she'd lost her mom since I'd last seen her, so I said "You look thinner. Was that intentional?" When she said yes, I congratulated her on her success. My own experience with cancer made me realize that weight loss isn't always the result of effort; sometimes it's one of the things you're struggling against.

[Polly Leshan]

One of the routine questions asked by a couple of doctors I know is,"Have you unintentionally lost weight recently?" The answer of one of my friends was, "Yes." With no other obvious symptoms she was diagnosed later that month with stage four lung cancer.
Knowing how fraught all body /weight issues can be, it's probably better to be simply glad to see someone we haven't seen in a while; if there is more to be said about appearance, it will likely come up later in the conversation.

[Jan Baird Hasak]

This is an important subject, one that Lori Hope would have loved. A year ago I discovered a terrible and devastating betrayal by my husband of 35 years. I wasn't overweight to begin with, but after this discovery I lost even more weight, looking anorexic. I had no interest in food. No one told me I looked great. In fact, they were alarmed. But my oncologist, knowing what he does about these issues, did ask me if the weight loss was intentional.

I agree that it's better to be simply glad to see someone we haven't seen in a while and not mention weight loss, a touchy issue.

[visit]

In addition to weight loss success, there are so many other success stories. While hosting classes at a Diabetes Expo this past week one happy customer reported that he had cut his medication dosage in half since losing so much weight.