Newtown Massacre and Healthy Survivorship

What does a Healthy Survivor do about the constant news coverage of the Connecticut massacre? 

The news stunned and saddened me. As a Healthy Survivor, I asked myself  "How much do I, Wendy, need to learn about the 20 precious children and the 6 adults whose lives were cut short?"

Here are some of the reasons why I am not reading or watching the grief-filled personal stories:

• I have a choice. The coverage reflects the media's choice, a decision dictated by forces having nothing to do with my welfare. I disagree with the media's choice of information deemed worthy of my attention today.
• Nothing positive comes out of my learning the details.  I've absorbed the headlines. Today, looking at the pictures and reading about the grieving parents, young siblings, classmates, teachers and community members left behind serves no good purpose for me. Personalizing the stories of the individuals cannot affect positively anything I think, feel, do or say in my life.
• Media stories distort my perception. Paying attention to the details without spending an equal amount of time paying attention to all the personal stories of people thriving in joyful circumstances distorts my perception in maladaptive, harmful ways.
• Paying attention stirs harmful negative feelings. I have enough pain and grief in my personal life concerning people I know and love. Watching the tragedy-related human interest stories broadcast from Connecticut stirs feelings that make it more difficult to be a Healthy Survivor who embraces what joys are possible in my life.

Comments

[Susan]

Thank you for articulating what I believe many of us are feeling, particularly with regard to 24/7 media coverage driven to fill timeslots. And thanks for the reminder about embracing what brings us joy each day.

[Bill Kleine]

As I write on December the 21st I am reminded that each day the world ends for many. A few of them we even hear about. I did not follow the tragedies of those unknown innocents, but the story did break my heart. One of my sisters, having ran so many Code Red's with her elementary school classes, was struck by the adults who died. You see, if you are not a teacher, your job is to search the school for children who are not safe--to deliberately put yourself in harm's way. To her that is the essence of courage. A healthy survivor of life does just that. We do not run from the realities that face us, we calmly walk to them and face them, winning even if we seem lose.

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Dear Bill,

I have printed out your comment to re-read many times.

Thank you for these beautiful words about the courage required to be a Healthy Survivor and about the perspective that triumph is measured not by HOW LONG we live but by HOW we live.

With respect and hope, Wendy