Wendy Harpham on Healthy Survivorship

In Sickness and In Health

I want to share a posting by an 80-year-old physician-turned patient. Larry Zaroff is an MD-PhD cardiac surgeon who in his later years successfully scaled the peak of Chulu West (a 22,000 foot ascent) near the Nepal-Tibet border.

Keeping Cancer a Secret - Part II

My prior post was prompted by Dr. Mikkaela A Sekeres' NYTimes essay, "Keeping Cancer a Secret." Do Healthy Survivors ever keep their diagnosis a secret?

Keeping Cancer a Secret

Yesterday, Dr. Mikkaela A Sekeres addressed, "Keeping Cancer a Secret." He was prompted to write the essay after learning that a patient had been keeping his diagnosis of myelodysplastic syndrome [a pre-cancerous condition] a secret from his grown children and their children.

The patient explained, “'Our son has been away, doing a couple of tours of duty in Afghanistan,” he said. “We were going to tell our daughter, but. …” He paused, trying to find the right words. “It wouldn’t be fair, for her to know, to have this burden, and not him. We were planning on telling them when we’re together over the holiday.'”

Dr. Sekeres offers a few possible reasons, including "'sometimes the one thing that we can control is whom we tell...Some [reasons] are very personal (it’s my body, and what goes on inside it is my business). Some are professional (the screenwriter Nora Ephron kept her myelodysplastic syndrome a secret because she feared that no insurance company would sign off on any movie she tried to make). And some are altruistic (we don’t want others to bear the emotional weight of knowing).'"

His conclusion? "It’s our job, as doctors and nurses, to be deliberate in asking our patients how they will explain their cancer to others, to make sure they understand. Keeping such a diagnosis hushed, a secret from those who love and care for us, is an unfair burden we shouldn’t allow cancer to dictate, too."

Next: Do Healthy Survivors ever keep such secrets?

 

Helping Younger Children When a Parent has Cancer

In her book, When a Parent Has Cancer: A Guide to Caring for Your Children, author and cancer survivor Wendy Harpham, M.D. stresses the importance of...regular routines.

Telling Your Youngster You Have Cancer

How you sound is as important as what words you choose. If you appear confident of being able to deal with your illness and help your children – even if you shed a few tears – they will feel comforted.

Decreasing The Risk of Delirium

A study designed to determine risks associated with hospitalization and delirium in patients with Alzheimer's Disease (AD) contains important lessons for Healthy Survivors.

Grief and Acceptance

Illness is often associated with loss, even when the medical outcome is excellent.

Since prolonged grief is associated with distress and dysfunction, an understanding of healthy ways to deal with loss may propel patients' pursuit of Healthy Survivorship -- and happiness. Reading a 2008 editorial in the British Journal of Psychiatry might further this understanding.

Hope or Letting Go - Part II

In my last post, Hope or Letting Go, I shared the story of a physician, Dr. Youn, still troubled by an incident that happened ten years ago. Since reading it, I've been bothered by some of the questions he posed.

For example, Dr. Youn asked if concern for the needs of the patient's loved ones ever take precedence over the patients' needs?

What Not to Say to a Cancer Patient

The Dallas Morning News ran a story on the front page of today's Health section entitled, What Not to Say to a Cancer Patient.  For the article, special contributor Melissa T. Schultz interviewed me, two other survivors (scroll through photographs) and Dr. Walter Baile of University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center (MDACC).

The Jack and Jill Late Stage Cancer Foundation

If fairy godmothers existed, cancer survivors with late-stage disease who are rearing children might ask: "Fairy Godmother, can you give my family a vacation from my illness? Please?"

Now some parents can.

Costs and Benefits of Counseling

In Razing and Rising, I mention that Healthy Survivors "seek guidance and support." What if you've never needed professional counseling before?

Too Many Lessons?

As soon as I learn something that might help someone else, I want to share it and spare as many people as I can from learning lessons the hard way. Can my advice be too much?

Faltering Cancer Trials

Faltering Cancer Trials should get everyone's attention. The NYTimes Opinion piece opens, "The nation's most important system for judging the clinical effectiveness of cancer treatments is approaching 'a state of crisis.'"

Too Calm

Panicking is usually counterproductive when a loved one has a health crisis. Staying calm is adaptive, allowing you to think, communicate and act effectively. A fascinating and entertaining YouTube video of a 5-year-old girl, Savannah, demonstrates how it's done.

When might staying calm be counterproductive?

Redeeming Help

How do you help patients who hate to ask for help?

A Silent Epidemic

Imagine a 75-year-old man at a new-patient appointment with a young physician. The patient is meticulously dressed and groomed, and he walks somewhat awkwardly with a cane. His medical history is significant for a fall five months earlier that resulted in two fractures of his pelvis. The fractures are healing nicely, but he now needs help with a problem that developed as a consequence of his treatment.

Spoiling the Ending

"You won't believe what happened today," she says. "What happened?" you ask, beginning to worry about all the possible bad things it could be. She then begins the saga, "I was going grocery shopping, and..."

Tell Me What's Wrong, But Don't Complain.

Patients sometimes get into trouble because they don't want to complain. I'd like to suggest a simple solution.

Your Friend's Keeper?

You've survived cancer. Now a friend develops the same type of cancer and is making horrible decisions (in your opinion). She's declining conventional therapies for a treatable cancer or deciding against telling her children she is sick. What's a good friend to do?

Happiness in the Storm of Alzheimer's Disease

You will never hear me call cancer or any other horrible disease a "gift." So how can I talk of happiness when dealing with Alzheimer's Disease (AD)?

Heberden's Node

Years ago, I was waiting at a red light on my way home from my oncologist's office. A boat-like car slowly pulled up next to me. I looked over and saw a gray-haired woman sitting up straight. Her gnarled fingers gripped the steering wheel at 10 and 2, as if she was doing a pull-up to peer over the front hood.

Staring at her, I had a powerful thought:

Paying for Complementary Therapies

As a Patient Money columnist, Walecia Konrad provides financial advice for those patients choosing to pursue complementary therapies.

The Art of Survivorship

Last evening I was interviewed by Betsy de Parry on Lymphomation Live, a weekly webcast sponsored by Patients Against Lymphoma. In this show entitled "The Art of Survivorship," we discuss how knowledge, hope and action help people become Healthy Survivors. The information and advice are addressed to patients dealing with any medical challenge (not just cancer) who want to get good care and live as fully as possible.

The hour-long interview is available online by clicking here.  I hope it helps.  With hope, Wendy

Nursing Homes That Belie the Bad Image

Jane Brody's Personal Health column today discusses a model nursing home in Florida. I want to draw your attention to the second half of the article, which highlights the book, Taking Charge: Good Medical Care for the Elderly and How to Get It.

Empathy-o-meter for Healthy Survivors

Empathy is the ability to understand and vicariously experience the feelings of someone else. This skill is adaptive, helping you respond to another person's needs in healthy ways.

With the rise of support groups -- and now Internet chats and blogs -- patients sharing similar problems can easily seek out and find each other. And they do. So can a Healthy Survivor ever have too much empathy?