Checkup Anxiety

"Checkup anxiety" before a routine examination is an extremely common phenomenon among survivors, even Healthy Survivors. It can manifest itself as irritability, sleep disturbance, or increased somatic symptoms (headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, and so on). What's a survivor to do?

Some tips that helped me:

• Since this is a logical reaction to upcoming tests that would determine if I needed treatment again, I saw my anxiety as a sign that my rational brain was still working!  A good thing, wouldn't you say?
• Checkups were one more necessary nuisance of life, like getting gas for my car or locking all the doors and windows at night.
• Checkups were an opportunity to reaffirm that I was doing well.
• If there was a problem, the problem was there whether or not I had my checkup. The checkup didn't cause the problem; it just gave me an opportunity to respond in healing ways.  
• I knew I could handle whatever results I might receive.
• I assumed I didn't have a problem until I was told I did have a problem. This only worked if I was faithful about complying with checkups. And even then, it only worked sometimes.
• I distracted myself from upcoming checkups by keeping extra-focused on worthwhile projects.
• I planned a small post-check-up treat. And whenever I began to feel anxious again, I focused on the special treat in the same way I might anticipate other planned happy events. For example, I might plan for a little "retail therapy." 
• When none of the above worked, I saw it as a humbling sign of my humanity.

The best part of this blog post is that I've intentionally used past tense. I rarely, if ever, suffer checkup anxiety anymore. Why? I have many possible explanations, including confidence in my ability to deal with whatever might come my way, stubborness that I don't want anxiety to spoil an otherwise-good time, love of my writing that keeps my full attention, and overwhelming gratitude for having already survived so far beyond anyone's expectations. 

Comments

[Debby]

How about the fact you keep talking to yourself and continually finding good things to add to your list of strategies. By speaking out loud and writing things down you get them off your chest and onto the paper. You don't have to carry them around anymore. Shows you are still here with us!

[Wendy S. Harpham, MD]

Wonderful comment! Yes, self-talk and writing therapy can be healing. And the idea that finding useful stretegies is an ever-evolving process is right on-target. Thanks, Debby.