Wendy Harpham on Healthy Survivorship

Sex in the Group Room

One discussion that is in the "Top 10" difficult topics for Healthy Survivors is sex. So this Sunday, February 1, 2009 Selma Schimmel of "Vital Options" will host an in-depth discussion entitled "Sex, Intimacy and Cancer" on her radio show, The Group Room.

Can Better Bedside Manner Be Taught?

The January 29th New York Times articles by Tara Parker-Pope and Dr. Pauline Chen asks a simple question: Can compassion be taught to physicians?

When "Good Enough" is not Good Enough

In my last post, I discussed how the phrase "good enough" can deflect sadness, self-pity and hopelessness. But there are times when "good enough" is simply not good enough.

Good Enough

Patients often contend with chronic discomforts and/or limitations. One phrase that is useful for some Healthy Survivors is "good enough." Here's why:

Birthday Raffle

Today this blog on Healthy Survivorship is one year old! 

Choose Your Battles

My face is red and pulse is up. Why? Because I just read about a patient who was treated shabbily last night.

"Everyone has Cancer, Mom"

When my oldest child was around 10 years old, she whined something about "it seems like everyone has cancer."

Hope in Harmonious Friendship

If you are looking for ways to find and nourish hope, Steve Blow wrote a column that you must read: Women find strength in harmonious friendship.

A Study of Hope and Happiness

All last week we talked about steps Healthy Survivors can take to find hope and happiness. How about splashing a little color on the walls? I painted the drab wall of my study:

Armstrong Returns to Riding With a Purpose

Lance Armstrong is training in Australia for the "Tour Down Under." As NYTimes writer Christopher Clarey wrote in his January 17th article, "Armstrong reaffirmed that he is, above all, interested in making seasonlong use of his bully pulpit to promote the worldwide fight against cancer."

Step #4 for Shooing Away Hope-draining Thoughts

Ooops. I promised to tell you how you know if you have a thousand pounds of pickles under your bed. But I was focused on writing the blog, and I forgot. I'll tell you in today's post. The forgotten punch line provides a perfect introduction to Step #4 for shooing away hope-draining thoughts.

Your mind can focus on only one thing at a time. Sure, you can multitask (well, if you don't have alzheimer's or some cognitive deficit, that is). But you aren't focusing on anything when you are doing two or more things at once.

Step #4: Choose a better focal point. That's why Lamaze breathing helps with the pain of delivering a baby. If you can find something to focus on - preferably something positive, but something neutral can work well, too - the unpleasant thoughts automatically get pushed into the periphery. And the feelings triggered by the thoughts will follow, calming down or disappearing.

Writing something to help someone else has been a reliable focal point for helping me through my own pain. I have an assortment of other "focal points," too, which I'll share in future posts.

If you can't think of any focal points and need one right away, close your eyes and imagine a thousand pounds of pickles under your bed. Even if it doesn't work as a focal point for you, you'll have the answer to my riddle: You are closer to the ceiling! 

Irrational Fear Takes a Seat

Doug Ulman, President of the Lance Armstrong Foundation, talks about his fear of flying in an interview for the New York Times. Doug, whose fear of flying predates his diagnosis of cancer, chalks up the intense anxiety he feels to "a control issue" and deems it irrational. Especially in light of the discussion we're having about detoxifying fears, I'd like to offer a different explanation.

Shooing Away the Hope-draining Thoughts

At the end of my last post, I promised to use this post to blog about how Healthy Survivors balance their hopes for cure with their other hopes. But Ronni responded to the post with a request: "Hey could you send me a few pointers on keeping the mind away from worst-case-scenarios?" Sure, Ronni. Anything that might help you as you prepare for your third stem cell transplant.  

Nourishing Hope for Unlikely Recovery

I've been blogging about the situation when a patient has no more treatment options. I suggested to Sara that Healthy Survivors can accept the statistics ( i.e., accept the reality that recovery is unlikely) and, at the same time, hold onto hope of recovery.  How?

Finding Hope of Recovery When Out of Treatment Options

Sara asked me, "How do you give up on someone who from all outward appearances is healthy and strong? How do you accept the ending for someone who eagerly anticipates so much more life?" In my last post I discussed the role of obtaining knowledge. But now let's address the key issue: hope.

Not Ready to Give Up? Start with Knowledge.

Sara commented on a recent post that her father has leukemia, and "they can't do anything more to make him better. Medically speaking, we're supposed to give up. How do you do that? Just give up? How do you give up on someone who from all outward appearances is healthy and strong? How do you accept the ending for someone who eagerly anticipates so much more life?"

Communicating Medical News in the News

One day "high fat diet is good." The next week, "high fat diet makes no difference." Hence the punchline to a joke about not wanting to follow a particular health recommendation regarding diet or exercise: "Don't worry about it. Wait a week, and the recommendation will change."