It Freed Me

“‘The cancer freed me. It freed me,’ wrote Paul Tsongas about his lymphoma in a May 1992 New York Times editorial. Political pundits questioned this, two months after the senator’s withdrawal from the presidential race. I took him at his word....Wow. Beyond terror. The notion was music to my ears.” (from Star Power)

 

 

This 4th of July, Americans celebrate many "freedoms of" that are guaranteed by our laws: freedom of speech and freedom of religion, freedom of information and freedom of association.

We also celebrate many "freedoms from," many of which are still-hoped-for goals: freedom from hatred and hunger, freedom from prejudice and poverty.

The editorial by Tsongas suggests that people can be freed -- both freed by and freed of -- one of the emotions most closely associated with cancer: fear. As he explains, "I learned how to live. And to count each day. And to value that day. I am beyond terror because I have had more than enough of it.”

It's easy to rattle off the ways illness can cause patients to feel trapped, controlled, humiliated, impotent, damaged, left behind or left out. Tsongas encourages Healthy Survivors to pluck the fruits of unwanted health challenges, and to embrace the freedoms that come from facing our fears and surviving.  

Comments

[Ronni Gordon]

Sometimes that freedom from fear comes along in a wave of calm that feels almost out of my control. It is as though my brain has had enough worrying and really needs a break. I guess the next step is willing it to take a back seat when that fear comes over you. Sometimes it's pretty hard to accept the fear but to not dwell on it.

By the way I liked your idea about how to stop jumping to big conclusions, for example by saying, "I need platelets," and stopping there, rather than catastrophizing about what that might mean, as in "I need platelets, and now I'm really cooked and I'm going to relapse and...bla bla bla." So thanks for that.

[Wendy S. Harpham, M.D.]

Dear Ronni,

I like your image of a wave of calm that comes naturally and causes fear to recede spontaneously. And I like your notion that the next step is learning how to will that wave to come and push fear to the back seat.

I imagine there are some people for whom Healthy Survivorship comes naturally, just as there are some people who pick up a tennis racket and start out playing better than I was at my best. For most people, including me, becoming a Healthy Survivor involves (1) learning how to do the things that help us get good care and live as fully as possible and then (2) practicing, practicing, practicing, until it comes more naturally.

Ronnie, I suspect I'm learning as much from you and your blog as you are learning from me.

With hope, Wendy

[Kairol Rosenthal]

When I think about freedom from fear, cancer, and 4th of July, all I can think of is the lack of freedom so many Americans with cancer face not knowing if they will have to sell their house and lose their savings in order to pay for their care.

I think about how lucky we are in this country to have the freedom to vote for our leaders and how important it is that they follow the wishes of 72% of Americans who want the public option, and who live in the fear, or reality of, economic healthcare hell.

Kairol
blog - http://everythingchangesbook.com/

[Wendy S. Harpham, M.D.]

Amen.