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« Silence | Main | A Halloween Lesson »

October 31, 2009

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Ronni Gordon

I was just talking to a friend yesterday about the "what if" problem. She said she has a friend who says, "Don't indulge in future pain." I told her something I got from someone, and it might have been you! It was "Don't worry about an imagined catastrophe now, because then if it really happens, you will have put yourself through it twice." We know these things intellectually, but if you've been hit by the same bus more than once, it's hard not to spin off into a what-if scenario. Good that you caught yourself, and have fun planning the wedding.

Wendy S. Harpham, MD

Dear Ronni,
If you've read HAPPINESS IN A STORM, you may have picked it up from that. Chapter 7, entitled "Using Your Emotions," discusses ways to calm worries and fears.

One mantra of Healthy Survivorship is "It matters less what you feel than what you do with what you feel."

As we survivors of multiple bouts of illness know: The way to calm fear of tomorrow lies more in (1) accepting the uncertainty of health (2) nurturing confidence that we can deal with whatever happens (3) choosing to direct our attention elsewhere, than in convincing ourselves that our problems are over.

With hope, Wendy

Wei Chong

Hi Wendy,

I'm sorta that opposite of a procratinator. My family calls me "driven." I've been trying to ease back, especially after having had cancer 4 years ago.

This Halloween post was apropo for me, as it has been 4 years exactly after my original diagnosis.

When I was reading Happiness in a Storm (the book), your messages were reinforced by your blog. Pls continue. I need to be reminded, time and again.

Thanks, Wei

Wendy S. Harpham, MD

Dear Wei,
While reminding you, I'm reminding me, too! And if you have any topics you'd like me to tackle on the blog, let me know.
With hope, Wendy

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