In my last two posts, I illustrated the value of recognizing and responding to atypical grief in healing ways. My example was in the context of an extraordinary situation. Today I'll illustrate using a personal story.
I had wanted to be a primary care clinician since my mid-teens. In 1983, hope became reality when I opened a solo practice of internal medicine. Only 7 years later I developed lymphoma. I closed my practice for 10 months while undergoing intensive chemotherapy.
Reopening my practice was sweet. I understood in a whole new way why I wanted to be a clinician. Unfortunately, just before my one-year checkup the lymphoma recurred. I closed my practice permanently. It was the death of a dream.
Loving friends and family tried to take away my sadness, distract me from my sadness and help me focus on getting well. I don't blame them; I suppose I'd have done the same had the situation been reversed. But what I needed to move forward was to stop and grieve the loss.
I sought counseling with the hospital's oncology social worker. In the safety of her office, I cried more than I talked. I acknowledged and respected the loss. And, yes, after a few months the tears no longer came when I thought about my practice. Having grieved, I was ready to move on.
Friends and loved ones of Healthy Survivors understand that sometimes people need to stop and grieve a loss before they can open their eyes to the joys and opportunities that remain.
I am so sorry you had to give up your practice. I get the sense you must have been wonderful at what you did.
I am stuck in grief right now and having a hard time moving forward. Five years after being diagnosed with MS, I am losing all the tangible things I worked so hard for and was so proud of. My career as an executive, which I loved, is over and I am about to lose my beloved house to foreclosure. It is very hard to conceive of coming out of this situation with any sense of peace. But I will think of your experience and try to take encouragement from it.
Posted by: Marie | March 10, 2011 at 08:24 AM